If I Let It Go

by Cecily Rodriguez

cecily clutterCan we all just say a collective “AMEN” that the holidays are over?

No, I’m not a scrooge. I did all the things – the shopping, decorating, wrapping, mailing, and giving.

Then, I put on my pjs, sat in my living room drinking espresso watching the snowfall while I enjoyed my tree. HAHAHA!!! Be serious. There was 0.2 seconds of that.

I dropped a precious $1000 to rise and shine at 4:00am four days before Xmas, to hop a plane with child and bags in tow to dodge this year’s flu strain while flying to my home state of Kansas. My whole family lives there so it’s easier for us to go there. And on Xmas day, I did it all again but in reverse.

Then, I put on my pjs, sat in my living room drinking espresso watching the snowfall while I enjoyed my (now dead) tree. HAHAHA!!! HAHAHA!!! No. Still, no.

I started – suitcases unpacked, laundry, decorations down, tree out, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, cards recycled (except you glitter cards because glitter is evil and no one wants you to come back as anything).

Since we were already living in a shitshow, I decided to purge C’s room – in case you don’t have kids this means all the stuff they no longer want/need ends up in your bedroom, dining room, living room so as to thoroughly make you question your parenting choices since you’re clearly raising a hoarder. #parentingwin

Cleaning out closets, dressers, tables, and under the bed made me face what I already knew – we have too much f%$&^@g stuff! Although, can I just say how awesome I am at fitting a lot of stuff into small spaces? All those hours of playing Tetris really paid off.

How did this happen? I don’t want to name names (Dad) but let’s just say someone’s workshop was not one, but TWO barns full of tools, equipment, and materials. Just going to get a wrench was like running an obstacle course of mower blades, garden hoses, and gasoline. I’d ask why he needed XYZ object that was clearly a broken antique of some sort and he’d say, “Hon, you never know when you might need it.”

I don’t keep mower blades in the closet but I have more than a few “you never know when you might need it” buttons and cans of paint stored away. I hate it. But the “it” is not the stuff. The “it” is the fear that has lead to my having so much stuff.

I’m afraid to let something go because I’m afraid I will regret it.

Let me say it another way – I’d rather cling to this light bulb/job/house/relationship/signed book/client/membership/(insert your thing) that I’ve outgrown and that no longer brings me joy because I’m afraid if I choose to let it go I’ll never find another one and will be sad forever.

Sound familiar? That’s rhetorical. We both know it does. Yes, I’m talking to you. And you too.

I’ve had to shift my perspective on letting things go instead, viewing it as a passing on. It served its purpose for me and now someone else needs it (including the recycling bin) so I’m passing it on to them.

In the last several years I’ve passed on a position I created from scratch so that another woman could grow her career, a house so that new memories could be made, a friendship so that we could both be happier, and of course stuff. My niece and nephew welcomed the first great grandchild to the family and I was thrilled to pass on seven boxes of baby clothes.

So, is my house cleared out and organized? Not yet. Give me a hot minute it’s only the second week of January. But if you’re in the market for any buttons, allen wrenches, Barbies, high heels, Talbots dresses, kids books, markers, a fan, some curtains, or pillowcases…I would be thrilled to pass this and more on to you!


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